Last weekend, my friend Federica and I co-hosted a Somatic Experiencing Masterclass on the theme of ‘Embracing Healthy Boundaries’. It was a moving experience with participants joining in from four countries and seven cities around the world.

One of the things I love about facilitating such spaces is the diversity and universality of the human condition that exist simultaneously across time and space boundaries.

The session was divided into three phases:

• Phase-1: Understanding the roots of our boundary setting challenges from past experiences.

• Phase-2: Reconnecting to the Body’s ‘YES’ / ‘NO’ response arriving into the present moment.

• Phase-3: Envision the future authentic self that embodies effortlessly setting healthy boundaries.

3 Simple Practices

So, what are the three simple practices to help you unpack and transform your boundary challenges?

Note: This is a distillation of what I learnt in the process of preparing for this workshop. Workshop has specific activities and practices for each of the three phases listed above.

1. Identify body check-in questions for yourself. Practice asking them regularly to yourself. For example, Where in my body do I feel the resistance in saying ‘No’?

2. Practice slowing down. You don’t notice sensations if you are always in a constant state of rush. Take up at least one embodied practice in your routine to slow down. This will allow your awareness to deepen and sharpen, and body to be more sensitive.

3. Befriend your rage. When boundaries get violated, anger is a natural response. How can you practice building a compassionate relationship with your rage? This holds key to transform this powerful creative destructive energy into healthy boundary setting patterns.

Practice these three simple steps and let me know how it helped you transform your boundaries in your relationships. If you need further support, feel free to reach out to discover how to embrace healthy boundaries in your life.

Here is what one of our participants had to share about the SE Masterclass experience.

Exclusive for Sōma Maṇdala Community Members

Do you feel boundary setting is important for you at this point in your life, but missed joining our live SE Masterclass? Not to worry.

You can now access the recording of the SE Masterclass on embracing healthy boundaries with your Sōma Maṇdala annual community membership plan. For membership, subscribe here.

“Healing becomes possible when thinking and feeling start happening together, when they speak the same language.” - The Secret Language of the Body by Jennifer Mann

This month’s theme in the Sōma Maṇdala community is on boundaries. Last weekend, my friend and Somatic coach from Italy, Federica Lazza, and I co-hosted an online webinar on the topic ‘Embracing Healthy Boundaries’.

The session provided a gentle reflective space for all of us who joined to reflect upon our personal experiences and challenges with boundaries in our lives. In this post, I’m sharing below some powerful moments that stood out for me.

If you are interested to learn more, you may watch the recording of the full session at the end of this post. You may also sign up here for our deep dive into this topic on 26th July 2025 when we are hosting a workshop introducing somatic practices for healthy boundaries.

So, here goes, some of the gems from the session.

• The very first nervous system tissues in organism were not brains, but were primitive sensory receptors. So, the body came long before the mind.

• Boundaries are important limits we put for ourselves and they connect us to our intuition.

• Trauma disrupts our sense of self. This can blur our sense of our boundaries, often leading us to act in ways to please others.

“If we constantly say ‘Yes’, we will be liked but we will never be loved.” - Gabor Mate

• Read the above quote from Gabor Mate again, slowly. What images, memories, feelings come up for you? What sensations are you in touch with in your body?

• People pleasing tendencies developed as a trauma response leads to suppression of our spontaneous and authentic emotions. Suppression of anger has a direct impact on challenges around boundary setting and consequently our well-being.

• Research studies today show suppression of emotions like anger is a risk factor for conditions like depression, IBS, chronic fatigue, migraines, and heart diseases.

• Nearly 80% of auto-immune disease cases occur in women due to suppression of emotions like anger. Other auto-immune risk for women and men who suppress emotions, especially anger, could be dysregulated immune function and chronic inflammation, contributing to conditions such as rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, multiple sclerosis, Hashimoto’s, and Fibromyalgia.

A Self-Inquiry Practice

Here is a simple self-inquiry practice recommended by Gabor Mate in his book ‘The Myth of the Normal’ to help you discover your patterns around boundary setting.

1. In the important areas of my life, what am I not saying ‘No’ to?

2. How does my ability to say ‘No’ impact my life - emotionally, physically, or relationally?

3. What is the hidden story behind my inability to say ‘No’? Where did I learn that I have to say ‘Yes’ to be safe or loved?

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If this has piqued your interest, you may watch the full recording of the session below.

We are hosting an in-depth online workshop on the theme of “Embracing Healthy Boundaries” on 26th July 2025 from 5 PM to 7 PM IST. In this workshop, we will introduce somatic practices and activities that can help you discover your boundary setting patterns and make them healthier in this session.

Keywords

Somatic Experiencing, Trauma Healing, Nervous System, Self-Regulation, Cultural Perspectives, Healing Modalities, Emotional Well-being, Mental Health, Empowerment, Personal Growth

Summary

In this enlightening conversation, Euphrasia (Efu) Nyaki shares her journey into the world of Somatic Experiencing and Trauma Healing. She discusses her early experiences in Brazil, her discovery of Somatic Experiencing, and how it complements her background in traditional healing practices. The conversation delves into the nature of trauma, the role of the nervous system, and the importance of self-regulation.

Efu emphasizes that trauma is not a disease but a response to overwhelming events, and she highlights the universal nature of trauma across cultures. The discussion also touches on practical insights for healing and the transformative power of Somatic Experiencing in various contexts, including corporate environments.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Somatic Experiencing and Healing Trauma

02:53 Euphrasia's Journey: From Missionary Work to Healing

06:06 Cultural Perspectives on Healing and Empowerment

08:44 Understanding Somatic Experiencing: A Deep Dive

11:47 The Role of the Body in Trauma and Healing

14:42 The Impact of Trauma on Perception and Response

17:46 Trauma: Disease or Response?

22:00 Healing Through Somatic Experiencing

26:18 Cultural Perspectives on Trauma

30:25 Understanding Trauma Responses

34:27 Trauma in the Corporate World

39:33 Transformative Healing Stories

44:29 Simple Practices for Trauma Relief

The wheels of time turns the tide,

Joy to sorrow,

Trust to betrayal,

Peace to violence,

Too much too soon,

Prāṇa knotting up,

Body doubling down,

Into a freeze, flight, fight, or fawn.

As the River of Life flows,

The pain seems all too familiar if not numb,

Hope a distant light house in a stormy night,

Serenity serendipitous at best.

Body keeps the score in silence,

Going about life like a hamsters wheel,

Without a pause,

Lest the pain returns.

As the River of Life flows,

One day grace extends an invitation,

To sense deep in the body,

A new hope and a new strength.

Fragile but real,

Pendulating between hope and fear,

Reconnecting with the pain of the trauma,

And returning to the healing possibility,

Weaving the tapestry of a new life,

Slowly but steadily.

As the River of Life flows,

The flow of Prāṇa is restored,

Returning to the here and now,

Anchored in presence and awareness.

Living life in all its hues,

Knowing that you never step into the same river twice,

Celebrating the sameness and difference of the Self in the River of Life.

Evocations at the end of my training of the first module of the Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner training offered by the Somatic Experiencing® International via The White Elephant in Rishikesh, India.

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Appendix:

• Sóma Mandala - The 9th Mandala of Rig Veda containing 114 hymns, entirely devoted to Sóma Pávamāna, “Purifying Soma”, the sacred potion celebrated as bestowing immortality upon drinking, as per the Vedic literature.

• Prāṇa - life force